Blah time

I'm more or less in full swing here in Auroville however, I am having some issues. I have been feeling very numb over the past few days, which we actually talked about today and a few others are feeling the same way. Last night I was trying to figure out why I might be feeling like this. Here is what I have come up with. We have been doing a lot of getting-to-know-each-other activities and somewhat traveling around Auroville. I like this and I am happy to have the down time but I don't feel as though I am actually here. I am just waiting for it all to start. Once the academic section starts I have a feeling that I’ll be better. I came here ready to start learning – and I suppose that I am learning but not really from where I thought I would be. It’s time to get dirty and learn and challenge myself and so far all I’ve been doing is sitting and listening to lectures and feeling like I’m on a field trip. I should be appreciating the time I have now but I guess I am too focused on the future, or the hopes I had, to really enjoy the now. All of this goes against what I said several blogs ago that I’m going to live in the moment. It seems as though I am failing at this. How do I get out of this? I’m really lost. My mind is really blank but I can’t seem to enjoy the time I have here. Again it’s been 3 days but I’m really frustrated with this feeling. I know I need to just let it go and not worry but it’s a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I really need to blog on the program site so I’ll leave this one here for now. My last thing before I go however is that I will be doing Tai Chi instead of yoga every morning – at 6:15 am. Holy Cow! So for the next 3 mornings I’m slowly going to get up earlier and earlier so I won’t be quite as dead come Monday morning.