The time is drawing near for my Blessing Party however, there have been quite a few hiccups in the past few days that have changed our plans. Due to several family illnesses, non of them being life threating, we are no longer meeting at my grandparent's cabin. Above is an image of one of trees located to the West side of the cabin. I love this tree because it is rather symmetrical, forming a kite-like shape that isn't fully completed on the lower right side. But every sunset seems perfect with this tree soaking in the last few rays of light. I will miss this view this coming weekend. With the plans now changed, it's now turned into more of a grandparents send off than anything else, which isn't bad by any means.I have secured some more of my "Need List" items for India -- including a headlamp which I have to say is pretty damn awesome. It not only has it's three LED lights for reading and normal working activities but also this spot light which will come in very hand while riding a bike in the dark. I also have received conformation that my Visa has been approved and my passport is on it's way back to me. I just have a few items left to hunt down and with a month in a half left I should have no problem getting them.
In saying that I have a month in a half left a few days ago I received my pre-arrival assignments for India. There is quite a bit of work and while most of it I'm not worried about there is one in particular that is going to give me a lot of trouble...it already is actually. But the assignments are as follows: several reading assignments, 3 essays and half of the book You Are Therefore I Am, several journal entries one of them reflecting on the readings, and two presentations, one about your life journey so far (a get-to-know-each other presentation) and the second is what they have called a "personal passion presentation" which basically entails a personal passion that you are deeply interested in and which relates to environmental, cultural, or inner sustainability. Oh hell! was my first reaction. Passion is such a strong word and I feel sort of left behind that I'm not sure if I have one right now....or at least one that applies. I love ultimate and I might even consider it a passion since I'm trying to work on my game, but it doesn't fit the mold for India. I showed my dad the assignments and told him I was worried about this one. He pointed out that you can't do something you don't have...or for that matter explain it. I'm also rather intimidated by some of the fellow travelers because from their short bios many of them seem to have some sort of passion. MSN's Encarta has five definitions of it, the top ones being: "1) intense overpowering emotion such as love, joy, anger, or hate. 2) strong sexual desire and excitement. 3) a strong liking or enthusiasm for a subject or activity." With those in mind I'm guessing we should be directed toward number 3. I feel very lost now. To think that I don't have a 'passion' is rather bothersome. I again would like to blame the word because passion to me would be something that fulfills a deep craving that I have.....and I don't think I have a hole that needs filling right now. Liking and enthusiasm don't fit for me when describing passion. Both of them, an passion as well, create feelings but passion (as I'm indicating my meaning by using italics) has something deeper, something that runs through the core of your being, in your bone marrow....something that is actually physical that you can feel pulsing like blood through your body -- not just an emotion. See I think if they had used 'like' or 'enjoy' I would have no problem coming up with something.....but I don't have a passion at the moment. To speak my mind, I think the majority of people don't have a passion or they think they do and are confusing it with 'like' or 'enjoy.' We 'like' and 'enjoy' so many different things in this world and that's a good thing because we can then experience many different emotions/things, but are we lost without a passion? To think that great inventors and doctors would not have made their discoveries without a passion for what they do a little overwhelming. Maybe I am reading way to into this, but that is how my brain is processing the word and I am not going to be able to push that aside. While the other assignments might take me two weeks at most to complete, this one may not be done by the time I leave on September 13th. I don't want to have to settle with one of my 'likes' just to complete the assignment. I'm traveling not only to finish my undergrad but to see where I am at in life and evaluate myself, hints why I chose the program I did. I'm at a turning point in my life and it's time to do some soul (and passion) searching.
