First I would like to apologize because I haven't posted in quite some time. We traveled from October 15th until the 19th to Trichy and Tanjavoor and another place I can’t remember. Over the course of those few days, we saw a total of five different temples ranging from recently discovered and completely carved of stone to huge brightly colored over the top with gold domes. All of them were magical. I regret to say I won't have any pictures of them because cameras are not usually allowed and if they are they charge you for them.....sorry temple I am not going to pay you for my camera. I believe my favorite one was the one which is now under the protection of a NGO. While it is sad that this temple is under their control and isn't as available to the public much as some of the other ones we saw -- it was the most amazing. We descended down these slick stone steps into a foot of water pooled around the entrance. I do not believe this was on purpose, only because of the monsoon was it filled with water. But on second hand, it could be seen as a way to clean your feet before entering a holy place. Our teacher, Dr. V, actually helped excavate this particular temple until the NGO took over. (Dr. V is a professor of Art History and Archeology who came along with us to extend his knowledge of Indian temple culture.) You enter the temple through these large wooden doors and place your shoes to the left. As you put your shoes down and slowly stand up the main temple sits quietly, waiting for her followers to enter. We step down into the center area and gaze at this marvelous stone structure. Every inch of the temple is carved of stone, no flat surfaces anywhere and they all told different stories. Toward the back outside face of the temple you could even see some of the old paintings which had once covered the entire surface. Think of a rich red background complemented by greens and yellows all perfectly drawn to form different Gods and Goddesses. Not many were actually able to be seen because most had worn away with age, but they few that were left were stunning. While I don't enjoy ancient art as much as modern art, no one could look at this temple and not have a deep appreciation for it. After the trip, I was pretty exhausted and felt as though I needed a vacation after our vacation. We are all starting to have a lot of group issues. It might not be so much group issues as individuals having problems with others which then cross over into the whole group. The trip helped and hurt some of the current and now existing issues. I don't feel a need to go into these problems because they don't concern anything of importance to those reading. I personally, am starting to have issues with individuals. The biggest problem with this group is that we are all female and then feel like we all have to complain all the time. At nearly every point during the day someone is saying something negative about something, being the guest house, people, internet, food, you name it, and I have had enough. People should be THANKFUL for everything we have....but hardly anyone is. Here I am talking about people being negative and yet I am also doing it. That's the other thing -- it's like a disease that everyone is catching. Even the most positive people are becoming negative...but that is how group dynamics work. I am not sure that people know that, and I am not sure that the ones who are constantly negative even care. As awful as it sounds I feel like we have a lot of superficial people here and a lot of them don't care for the group as much as they should – they are one a ‘personal’ crusade (I use quotes because they are superficial people and I don’t believe that really want to even find their true self’s.). I am becoming sick of it....and am having problems staying positive even though I am perfectly happy with my life here. With all that, I think my immune system has been weakened – I have been somewhat under the weather the past two days. I won’t go into details, again not something you would really want to read, but I didn't leave bed for about a day in a half. Most of the girls have something similar or worse than what I had, which is nice in a way because then it's a lot quieter....but bad because everyone is ill. One of the girls from last semester, who now lives in Auroville now, came to talk to us the other day. Our month long trip is coming up on November 7th and we wanted to hear her take on it. She said everyone gets sick and to just expect it but that it is still an amazing experience. She wasn't able to do the solo because she was too sick but everyone in her group that was able to loved it. I really hope I am not sick for the solo because that is what I have been looking forward to the most. I am a little worried about fasting for 2 days because of my head – but I think it would be good to clean out all my toxins and bad energy so that I am able to come back a new person for the last few weeks and the community stay and, hopefully, really transform. On a personal note I have been dealing with an issue. I feel as though all the personal growth that I did over the summer, emotionally and being able to clear my head, has been tossed into the wind. I am not as bad as I use to be but I still am nothing like when I first arrived. I know I need to see this as a challenge, to apply these practices in a larger group setting and to really work on myself....but it's so hard. We have all talked about how what we are doing is nothing like what we expected (which is one problem because with having expectations) but that should be seen as a new challenge to turn what we are given into a memorable trip. So that is my biggest personal conflict – finding my current self in the teachings I've learned in the past, and apply what I'm learning. I am somewhat fearful that I won't be able to achieve such a high goal but I am keeping an open mind and am looking forward to living more in the moment. The week before we leave on our trip we have the choice of continuing our service learning or doing academic work in that time. I have chosen to dwell on my academics because I believe that I haven't been improving as much as I should have in the month in a half since we have been here. Time is ticking away and I have learned little next to nothing I feel, and while that may or may not be the case that is how I see it. How could I be in a different country and not learn? What am I missing out on? What am I not seeing? Everyday I do my daily routine but do I ever enjoy or truly learn from my day? No. But maybe it's not all about learning right now. The things I'm doing now will sink in at some point. It may not be till I'm back, which will be unfortunate, but I will not lose my moments here forever. I need to slow down, take a deep breath and say, 'I'm in India.' I don't do this enough. When I do however, my blood flows, my heart leaps, and my soul and mind turn into willing instruments to be played as the world sees fit. I am in India and I can enjoy myself. It is the choices I make that make or break my trip. While the choices may not always be correct they will in the end help me to because a better person and develop in ways I never knew possible. I am in India and I have a choice to develop myself in a positive, or negative way. I'm in India and am ready to start anew. I'm in India and have an open soul. I'm in India and have an open mind. I'm in India........what will come next?
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